So… in a recent blog post I talked about this book I’ve been reading, Made To Crave by Lysa TerKeurst. I talked about how she cites 1 Corinthians 10:23 as her ability to remind herself that not all food choices are good ones. “You say, ‘I am allowed to do anything’–but not everything is good for you. You say, ‘I am allowed to do anything’–but not everything is beneficial. (NLT)”
Another good one, 1 Corinthians 6:12, takes it a little bit farther: “You say, ‘I am allowed to do anything’–but not everything is good for you. And even though ‘I am allowed to do anything,’ I must not become a slave to anything.”
I thought to myself… this is great. I will use this. I love it!
And in fact, I do. I love the idea of it. Until it comes to saying “that’s not beneficial” to something I want.
I’m getting stuck on the permissible part. The “I’m allowed to do anything” part. And I’m losing the “but it’s not beneficial and I can’t become a slave to it” part.
“I’m allowed, and it’s only this one time.”
Tonight, I wanted Chinese Food. Actually, for the last probably week I have wanted Chinese Food. Every single night. The craving has not gone away. I have prayed about it. I have quoted 1 Corinthians 10:23 in hopes that that would magically give me some willpower… and it did, for a few days. I gave in tonight. Not out of some sense of rationalization that I’d work out later and it’d make it ok, or that I’d been good this week (I haven’t, really…. so that’d be a lie anyway), or that I had a bad day and I needed it (I had a pretty good day, actually). I just really wanted Chinese food. It tastes good.
But I forgot one little tiny tidbit that I ALWAYS seem to forget about Chinese food.
I feel like garbage within an hour of eating it. Every. Single. Time. No exceptions. I can’t remember the last time I ate Chinese food and didn’t regret it. It’s been years.
Granted, I know that a huge part of this is because I certainly don’t choose remotely healthy options at all when I order Chinese. Chicken Fried Rice, an Egg Roll, Sesame Chicken, a can of Sprite, and a fortune cookie are a surefire recipe for gut rot.
And…. let me tell you…. I feel like garbage.
So my prayer tonight… as I sit in bed, feeling like I have a ball of gross indigestible lead in my stomach… with writer’s angst knowing that I won’t sleep if I don’t get this out…. is that next time I crave Chinese food, and I am able to ignore the craving for 3 days, that means that it’s not something I need… and I hope and pray that I can remember this unsettled, gross, headachey feeling that has come from my poor choice. Natural consequences, peeps… I preach them at my students, and yet here I sit, suffering from them. Irony, that’s what that is.
I can’t say that in avoiding what I was craving the past 3 days I’ve made better choices. Kraft Dinner and hot dogs the one night sure didn’t win me any awards… That choice I justified with “it’s report card food.”
Sure. If I need mechanically separated chicken parts, pasta, and radioactive powdered cheese sauce to get me through report cards, I guess there’s more wrong with Ontario’s education system than I originally thought, haha.
But at least I didn’t feel like a trash disposal exploded in my insides.
Please, everyone reading this, never let me eat Chinese food again.
Except maybe egg rolls…. they’re worth the sore stomach. BAD!
So here’s the application point of all of this. I’m about halfway through the book, where TerKeurst is making a case for what to do when you’re on vacation/in special situations… do you give in?
Everything is permissible, right?
Well, sure… if you can have it without it leading to wanting more and more of it and the cravings coming right back. I am realizing, as I did the first time I lost weight (but the wrong way and for the wrong reasons) that it is entirely possible, as much as I hate the idea, that there are some things I may just not be able to eat.
I feel like I should start an Instagram food diary and post everything I eat… haha that’ll make me think twice before I eat ANYTHING! Also… that is the purpose of Instagram, is it not? :p
Anyway, off to bed with me… I’ve said my piece.
Stay tuned Friday or Saturday for a slave trade blog like I said I’d be starting in my most recent post, Some Exciting News! I finally feel like I have enough info to do the very first one justice, and I’m excited to see how it’ll pan out, but I want to give it more time than the chunk of time where you’re at that “I should have been asleep an hour ago” spot…. especially since I took the night off of report cards, to…. fall asleep in front of the television. It was golden, let me tell you. It was probably largely due to the Chinese Food Coma though, let’s be real here.