Some friends and I were
talking lamenting after church. We have been noticing a few things, as there are a few of us who are dabbling in the art/science of online dating.
We’re starting to find similarities in the profiles of those we find intriguing, as well as those who find the same thing about us.
A lot of them seem to be looking for a lot of the very same things. Here’s the general idea:
~ A woman who loves the Lord with all her heart and wants to serve Him together with me
~ A woman who’s smart, educated, clever, etc.
~ A woman who is active and fit, with an athletic build, and curves in all the right places. Translation: Please be skinny, toned, with big boobs and an ample booty.
We coined this woman that so many guys we’ve come across are looking for “Bible Barbie.”
She’s got her Bible permanently open in her perfectly crafted hand, cracked open to Proverbs 31. She’s got her running shoes on and her tennis racket in the other hand, and she’s disproportionately thin.
We had this conversation — not specifically about ideal preferences in a mate, because we have to be honest — we all have them.
I have them.
If I was going to list what I want my ideal mate to look like, I’d tell you that he’s about 6’4″, he’s thin, but not too thin… he’s got broad shoulders and strong arms, and long, lean, runner’s legs. He’d have a head of thick, dark, wavy red hair, and he’d have piercing green eyes, and a lopsided goofy grin.
But you know what? I’m not holding out for that. You know why?
…… I’ve never met a single guy who looks like what I’d list as my ideal. Never. I can’t think of a single person I’ve seen, in real life or celebrities, who looks like that. None. So while I’ve got preferences, as we all do, I’ve got a realistic expectation that there are a lot of traits that are attractive and I can’t hold out for something unattainable.
My friends and I had this conversation about our bodies and how they change. Now that we’re into our late 20s and heading toward our 30s, our bodies have a really really hard time looking like that, so the guys that are looking for Bible Barbie…. they’ve really limited their search pool.
I mean, I get it, I want my boyfriend to be good looking, too…. attraction isn’t something I’m prepared to ignore altogether in my search, but I’d rather he be intelligent, witty, hilarious, prepared to lead our family in Christ, sweet, kind, musical (ideally — but I won’t hold this standard up either if it’s not present and other things are)…. and I’d rather he love me for who I am. For all of who I am. Whether I lose the weight I really want to or not…..
Especially whether I lose the weight I really want to or not…… because….. when I give the guy the four kids he tends to want (I don’t want four kids, but I’m seeing a LOT of guys who seem to want 4 or 5*), my body is NEVER going back to Bible Barbie’s…. even if it EVER looked like that in the first place. That’ll be my luck, though, I get the body I want and then I get married and pregnant and stretch it all back out again :p
*as I write this, I received an email on Christian Cafe… the entire text of which says only… and I quote…. “you want 2 kids, but I want like 4 :O”
Side note: Awesomely enough, apparently we’re not the first ones to come up with this idea ~ check out some Google Image results for “Bible Barbie.”
The fact that Bible Barbie actually exists blows my mind… a lot. I need some time to process this. That is all.