I am not Bible Barbie

Some friends and I were talking lamenting after church.  We have been noticing a few things, as there are a few of us who are dabbling in the art/science of online dating.

We’re starting to find similarities in the profiles of those we find intriguing, as well as those who find the same thing about us.

A lot of them seem to be looking for a lot of the very same things.  Here’s the general idea:

~ A woman who loves the Lord with all her heart and wants to serve Him together with me

~ A woman who’s smart, educated, clever, etc.

~ A woman who is active and fit, with an athletic build, and curves in all the right places.  Translation:  Please be skinny, toned, with big boobs and an ample booty.

We coined this woman that so many guys we’ve come across are looking for “Bible Barbie.”

She’s got her Bible permanently open in her perfectly crafted hand, cracked open to Proverbs 31.  She’s got her running shoes on and her tennis racket in the other hand, and she’s disproportionately thin.

We had this conversation — not specifically about ideal preferences in a mate, because we have to be honest — we all have them.

I have them.

If I was going to list what I want my ideal mate to look like, I’d tell you that he’s about 6’4″, he’s thin, but not too thin… he’s got broad shoulders and strong arms, and long, lean, runner’s legs.  He’d have a head of thick, dark, wavy red hair, and he’d have piercing green eyes, and a lopsided goofy grin.

But you know what?  I’m not holding out for that.  You know why?

…… I’ve never met a single guy who looks like what I’d list as my ideal.  Never.  I can’t think of a single person I’ve seen, in real life or celebrities, who looks like that.  None.  So while I’ve got preferences, as we all do, I’ve got a realistic expectation that there are a lot of traits that are attractive and I can’t hold out for something unattainable.

My friends and I had this conversation about our bodies and how they change.  Now that we’re into our late 20s and heading toward our 30s, our bodies have a really really hard time looking like that, so the guys that are looking for Bible Barbie…. they’ve really limited their search pool.

I mean, I get it, I want my boyfriend to be good looking, too…. attraction isn’t something I’m prepared to ignore altogether in my search, but I’d rather he be intelligent, witty, hilarious, prepared to lead our family in Christ, sweet, kind, musical (ideally — but I won’t hold this standard up either if it’s not present and other things are)…. and I’d rather he love me for who I am.  For all of who I am.  Whether I lose the weight I really want to or not…..

Especially whether I lose the weight I really want to or not…… because….. when I give the guy the four kids he tends to want (I don’t want four kids, but I’m seeing a LOT of guys who seem to want 4 or 5*), my body is NEVER going back to Bible Barbie’s…. even if it EVER looked like that in the first place.  That’ll be my luck, though, I get the body I want and then I get married and pregnant and stretch it all back out again :p

*as I write this, I received an email on Christian Cafe… the entire text of which says only… and I quote…. “you want 2 kids, but I want like 4 :O”

/end rant

Side note:  Awesomely enough, apparently we’re not the first ones to come up with this idea ~ check out some Google Image results for “Bible Barbie.”

The fact that Bible Barbie actually exists blows my mind… a lot.  I need some time to process this.  That is all.


11 thoughts on “I am not Bible Barbie

  1. Which woman in their right mind would want to be a Barbie? Or meet up with a Ken? Not me! Real people with real testimonies and real relationship with God are much more interesting!!

    1. Me either! Not me!! I’ve just been shocked at how many guys seem to think they’re looking for that…. I wonder how many don’t even realize how completely unrealistic their expectations are. And I know girls do it, too. They’re just looking for Bible Ken, but no, I agree, not me!

  2. Before I share a link on my own FB page to this posting, with which as a single man I agree, I would like to point out that women looking for “Bible Ken” is not uncommon: that is, he must be good-looking, tall and make a fair bit of money. I have been turned down for being too short (at 5’6″), and friends have been turned down b/c they were not perceived to make enough,

    1. That’s fair, I completely agree. I think there are so many more important things to look for in a potential mate than their height, their money, all those aesthetic things. Sometimes I have a hard time not being judgmental on those things myself, but that’s where relying on Christ comes in — trusting that with His strength I can be a better person than that.

  3. Interesting! Didn’t know about Bible Barbies either. Once in a blue moon I’d see a prospect on Christian Cafe, but 90% of the time, it would always be very creepy old men bothering me on there. If they weren’t old, then they were just plain creepy-looking! So I’ve been on and off that one, but do enjoy reading about others’ online dating adventures. Goodness, can’t believe you got that message about the 4 kids. Creep! Haha!

      1. I never have had any messages of that nature … But plenty of creepiness and plain cruelty 🙂 One guy wrote me a message praising my wonderfully deep and expressive profile, only to blast my photos – to him, I wasn’t looking happy enough, so I must be really bitter and depressed 😉 Surprisingly, this fellow was divorced..
        After replying extra courteously that I appreicated his opinion, but I was not a photo model and my friends appreicated me all the same – he shot back how unredeemable I must be :))

        I have since decided it’s not worth the emotional effort to write such people back and engage them emotionally at any level – there is only more abuse. So, although it feels wrong, I do not reply to the messages any more… even if the person seems sincere.
        CC is great to meet other sisters – mature Christian ladies abound on the forums – but I trust God has some other venue to bring my husband along…

      2. I’ve chosen not to respond to a few as well, though my general rule is that unless the guy is being incredibly rude, I answer. Some peoples’ comments don’t merit responses though. I probably shouldn’t have answered the guy who wrote “you only want 2 kids, but I want 4 :O”

        I haven’t done a lot of poking around on the forums on CC. I’ll have to check it out. Thanks for reading! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s